


Merry Christmas, Mr. President

by Byrdie



Category: Smallville
Genre: Established Relationship, Futurefic, Humor, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-12-26
Updated: 2002-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-01 10:11:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Byrdie/pseuds/Byrdie





	Merry Christmas, Mr. President

## Merry Christmas, Mr. President

by MadByrd

<http://madbyrd.slashcity.org>

* * *

::horrible off-key singing:: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." 

"I'll roast _your_ nuts next time I catch you checking out Bruce Wayne's ass." 

"I did _not_ check out his ass." 

"Did so. I saw you." 

::giggles:: "In the library?" 

"X-ray vision, remember?" 

"It was only just that once. ::pout:: "He was asking for it, prancing around in all that skintight black leather." ::sulk:: Besides, what about that leggy brunette ... Lola something-or-other, it starts with an L." 

"Lois Lane." ::exasperated sigh:: I told you already, she's the Daily Planet's new society columnist. The one who keeps pestering me to do an exclusive interview." 

::snicker:: ::mutter:: ::snerk:: 

"Whaddya mean she'd rather do me? Lex Luthor! She's a married woman! And I'm a married man. ::smooch:: A _happily_ married man. 

"Really?" 

::smooch:: "Really." ::smooch:: "Truly" :: smooch:: "Cross my heart and hope to die." 

**WHAP!**

"Hey! What'd you do that for?" 

::silence:: 

"Oh. _That_. But it wasn't my fault, honest." 

::icy glare:: 

"Well it wasn't. I'm no expert, how was I supposed to know those weren't real rubies in her earrings? You _know_ what red Kryptonite does to me. And _she_ pushed _me_ under that mistletoe." 

::sad puppy eyes:: "You don't love me any more. ::sniffle:: You want a...a sweet young thing with plenty of hair. And bazongas... _big_ bazongas. 

"Sweetheart, don't say that. I do love you, I'll always love you. You're the only one I'll ever want." ::rustle:: ::creak:: ::moan:: "Besides, her big bazongas couldn't hold a candle to your Washington Monument." 

"You'd better not be saying that just to get your wicked way with me, Superman. I'll have you know I'm a respectable citizen. A pillar of the community." 

::nibble:: ::lick:: ::bite:: "I've got your pillar right here, baby." 

::pant:: "Ohhh... Clark...there...like that." ::gasp:: ::squeal:: "Yes! Virginia, there really _is_ a Santa Claus!" 

::super-duper smoochies:: "Uh-huh. Merry Christmas, Mr. President. Now be a good little boy, why don't you, and fuck old Santa's brains out." 

# 

Lex gave it his very best shot, after all he had ten years of practice under his belt. As for the Secret Service Agents across the hallway... 

"Nuts! They're at it again. Anyone'd think they're still honeymooners." 

::snicker:: "How much you wanna bet they don't make matchsticks outta ol' Abe Lincoln's bed this time? They say that's why he finally quit hauntin' the place, too much bloody racket." 

**KA-THUNK!**

"Who cares? Shut up, Louie, and deal the cards." 

* * *

"Merry Christmas To All!  
And to all a Good Night!" 

* * *


End file.
